Tripel Karmeliet

8,4% Alcohol by volume
Authentic Belgian Ale
Product of Belgium (wasn't that already assumed in the line above?)
1 Pt 9.4 Fl. oz.

It's a blond, it's smooth and fruity (whatever), it's a true 3 grain ale, whatever, I bought it for the bottle:

Look at the Black Box shuddering in the background; it is definitely NOT worthy (see previous post about my disdain for Black Box wine).

Very cool label on the front of this bottle, dare I say it, are those monks harvesting sheafs of wheat?!  I believe it is...nothing like keeping a stereotype alive and kicking.  At least they aren't little made-up dwarves, although don't get me wrong, I love that little Munchkin beer (see Houblon Chouffee).

There is something terribly wrong here.

I CAN pour beer, it's the beer, NOT me.  There is extra carbonation or something added.  I promise you, I tip the glass as much as possible and this is what I get.  OK, maybe I am a little careless, I shouldn't blame the beer, it's actually pretty decent.

I really like this beer, it's a tiny bit bitter.  For some reason I expected a bit of a kick when I took my first sip, like an aftertaste but no, none there.  It seemed as if the smell was almost too light which is why I expected the aftertaste, but yeah, this is definitely drinkable.  I could get loaded on this very easily.

I just poured my second glass...apparently I was too anxious on the first pour, which is why the beer head is ridiculous huge.  Even the second pour, though, is yielding some pretty serious foam.

OK, I just looked at beeradvocate.com and someone even mentioned the pour:
"Pours a murky golden color with a positively indominable, rocky, white head. Seriously, a mild pour yielded two inches of glorious foam that continues to expand as I write. My Duvel glass has never looked so content..."
Where the hell did this person get a Duvel glass?  All I had was a pint glass, I feel so inferior, yet comforted by the fact that drinking this Tripel out of a special glass doesn't necessarily mean a better pour.

Have you ever really read the posts on beeradvocate?  Seriously, I want to start a special website just for the posts that get thrown up there:

Moderate aromas of light fruit (pear), Belgian yeast, banana, clove, lemon zest, and some floral notes.BANANA?  Where does this come from?  I taste no banana today.  I taste no lemon or clove for that matter, am I missing something here?  I just taste beer.

Very similar to the smell, the taste of this beer starts out with the flavors of light fruits (pear and apple), Belgian yeast with some spiciness, banana, and clove.OK, really?  Where do you get banana?  Did this person just eat a banana, are they craving banana, why does banana have to be involved, I am very confused.

Light bodied with moderate to heavy amounts of carbonation. Crisp and pretty dry, especially in the finish.Well, here is where we agree, it's fucking carbonated, end of story.

I do not understand how these involved beer reviews happen.  Are people so concerned with the minor nuances and 'notes' instead of just drinking their beer?  I imagine those that made this beer are glad you enjoy it, but if you have to pick it apart, are you REALLY enjoying it?  Or are you just that way, focusing on every little aspect that your taste buds can control like a machine, I feel really...sorry...for...you....

I'm getting my buzz on with this beer, not too much of a buzz, but just enough.  I could drink this beer all day long.  I may even go on a bender and see how expressive my descriptions are then!  Yeah, wouldn't THAT be entertaining.

Cheers.

Quanity over Quality, or WTF was I thinking...

I really had every intention to buy wine at the liquor store last night, but for some reason I thought I would hit the wine in the box section instead.  What in the hell was I thinking.

I feel I should start a "Do Not Drink This" list.  Wine in a box, nice idea, the fact that oxygen does not allow the wine to go bad as quickly is a good thing...but seriously?  Just buy the bottle and make it a personal goal to consume it in a day or two.  Tell people that want to make plans with you, "sorry but I have a Cab I have to finish at home", if they are real friends, they'll understand. 

Granted, when a bottle of wine is open, generally it's shared between two or so people, not at my place.  My roommate doesn't drink and I don't feel like sharing.

So back to the box of crap I am drinking.  I took a drink and slightly gagged, it's pretty awful.  I checked the date to see if it had gone bad, the packaging states that it is good 12-15 months after the date which is November 2011.  Bottom line, this wine sucks.

Do I take it back to the store?  I feel like I should return it because it really tastes like it has GONE bad, yet then I wonder maybe this is just how the wine tastes?

Here are other things NOT to drink EVER:

- Blue Maui, I don't know if they sell this but I've had some bad pre-legal drinking age experiences with it, it reminds me of coolant, tastes alot like coolant, is probably lethal and I'm sure the FDA pulled it off the shelves years ago...

- All wine coolers, don't even pretend you like these, they are disgusting.  Granted, during the 'wine cooler lush fest' was again during the pre-legal drinking age timeframe and our point in drinking these was to get drunk, instead of sipping on wine coolers at a garden party so I'm sure there is some market for this bottled vermin out there somewhere

- White Zinfandel, God help me, I went on a bender with my friend Jamee in Chicago in the mid-90's drinking white trashfandel for about 12 hrs...and suffered the worst hangover of my life the next day.  There are some drinks that should not be drank in excess, this would be on the list...as well as just tasting really bad.

- Jaeger.  I know alot of people like their Jaeger, I do not.  It tastes like candy-licorice crap.  Seriously, why are you drinking cough syrup?  Didn't you get enough of this when you were younger?  And the anise taste, if you ever want to make me suffer, insist I take shot after shot of Jaeger followed by smoking at least three cigarettes, that would be hell for me.

- Heineken, this just tastes like swill

I feel there are more drinks that I abhor, yet here I sit drinking this crappy box of wine, because it's here.  Chances are I will drink any of the above if it was infront of me, except for the Blue Maui, that's my dealbreaker.