Tripel Karmeliet

8,4% Alcohol by volume
Authentic Belgian Ale
Product of Belgium (wasn't that already assumed in the line above?)
1 Pt 9.4 Fl. oz.

It's a blond, it's smooth and fruity (whatever), it's a true 3 grain ale, whatever, I bought it for the bottle:

Look at the Black Box shuddering in the background; it is definitely NOT worthy (see previous post about my disdain for Black Box wine).

Very cool label on the front of this bottle, dare I say it, are those monks harvesting sheafs of wheat?!  I believe it is...nothing like keeping a stereotype alive and kicking.  At least they aren't little made-up dwarves, although don't get me wrong, I love that little Munchkin beer (see Houblon Chouffee).

There is something terribly wrong here.

I CAN pour beer, it's the beer, NOT me.  There is extra carbonation or something added.  I promise you, I tip the glass as much as possible and this is what I get.  OK, maybe I am a little careless, I shouldn't blame the beer, it's actually pretty decent.

I really like this beer, it's a tiny bit bitter.  For some reason I expected a bit of a kick when I took my first sip, like an aftertaste but no, none there.  It seemed as if the smell was almost too light which is why I expected the aftertaste, but yeah, this is definitely drinkable.  I could get loaded on this very easily.

I just poured my second glass...apparently I was too anxious on the first pour, which is why the beer head is ridiculous huge.  Even the second pour, though, is yielding some pretty serious foam.

OK, I just looked at beeradvocate.com and someone even mentioned the pour:
"Pours a murky golden color with a positively indominable, rocky, white head. Seriously, a mild pour yielded two inches of glorious foam that continues to expand as I write. My Duvel glass has never looked so content..."
Where the hell did this person get a Duvel glass?  All I had was a pint glass, I feel so inferior, yet comforted by the fact that drinking this Tripel out of a special glass doesn't necessarily mean a better pour.

Have you ever really read the posts on beeradvocate?  Seriously, I want to start a special website just for the posts that get thrown up there:

Moderate aromas of light fruit (pear), Belgian yeast, banana, clove, lemon zest, and some floral notes.BANANA?  Where does this come from?  I taste no banana today.  I taste no lemon or clove for that matter, am I missing something here?  I just taste beer.

Very similar to the smell, the taste of this beer starts out with the flavors of light fruits (pear and apple), Belgian yeast with some spiciness, banana, and clove.OK, really?  Where do you get banana?  Did this person just eat a banana, are they craving banana, why does banana have to be involved, I am very confused.

Light bodied with moderate to heavy amounts of carbonation. Crisp and pretty dry, especially in the finish.Well, here is where we agree, it's fucking carbonated, end of story.

I do not understand how these involved beer reviews happen.  Are people so concerned with the minor nuances and 'notes' instead of just drinking their beer?  I imagine those that made this beer are glad you enjoy it, but if you have to pick it apart, are you REALLY enjoying it?  Or are you just that way, focusing on every little aspect that your taste buds can control like a machine, I feel really...sorry...for...you....

I'm getting my buzz on with this beer, not too much of a buzz, but just enough.  I could drink this beer all day long.  I may even go on a bender and see how expressive my descriptions are then!  Yeah, wouldn't THAT be entertaining.

Cheers.

Quanity over Quality, or WTF was I thinking...

I really had every intention to buy wine at the liquor store last night, but for some reason I thought I would hit the wine in the box section instead.  What in the hell was I thinking.

I feel I should start a "Do Not Drink This" list.  Wine in a box, nice idea, the fact that oxygen does not allow the wine to go bad as quickly is a good thing...but seriously?  Just buy the bottle and make it a personal goal to consume it in a day or two.  Tell people that want to make plans with you, "sorry but I have a Cab I have to finish at home", if they are real friends, they'll understand. 

Granted, when a bottle of wine is open, generally it's shared between two or so people, not at my place.  My roommate doesn't drink and I don't feel like sharing.

So back to the box of crap I am drinking.  I took a drink and slightly gagged, it's pretty awful.  I checked the date to see if it had gone bad, the packaging states that it is good 12-15 months after the date which is November 2011.  Bottom line, this wine sucks.

Do I take it back to the store?  I feel like I should return it because it really tastes like it has GONE bad, yet then I wonder maybe this is just how the wine tastes?

Here are other things NOT to drink EVER:

- Blue Maui, I don't know if they sell this but I've had some bad pre-legal drinking age experiences with it, it reminds me of coolant, tastes alot like coolant, is probably lethal and I'm sure the FDA pulled it off the shelves years ago...

- All wine coolers, don't even pretend you like these, they are disgusting.  Granted, during the 'wine cooler lush fest' was again during the pre-legal drinking age timeframe and our point in drinking these was to get drunk, instead of sipping on wine coolers at a garden party so I'm sure there is some market for this bottled vermin out there somewhere

- White Zinfandel, God help me, I went on a bender with my friend Jamee in Chicago in the mid-90's drinking white trashfandel for about 12 hrs...and suffered the worst hangover of my life the next day.  There are some drinks that should not be drank in excess, this would be on the list...as well as just tasting really bad.

- Jaeger.  I know alot of people like their Jaeger, I do not.  It tastes like candy-licorice crap.  Seriously, why are you drinking cough syrup?  Didn't you get enough of this when you were younger?  And the anise taste, if you ever want to make me suffer, insist I take shot after shot of Jaeger followed by smoking at least three cigarettes, that would be hell for me.

- Heineken, this just tastes like swill

I feel there are more drinks that I abhor, yet here I sit drinking this crappy box of wine, because it's here.  Chances are I will drink any of the above if it was infront of me, except for the Blue Maui, that's my dealbreaker.

From my heart to yours - Beers to be drank, pondered, written about

I stopped by one of my favorite liquor stores on Friday night, Lukas Liquors http://www.lukasliquorsuperstore.com/, in Lone Tree, Colorado (thank you, JP & Naomi for recommending such a fabulous place), to stock up on some new beers to try:

Lukas Liquors is called 'The Superstore' because it is very super.  And special.  I am quite fond of the bomber room.  I wanted to take a picture of it, but did not want to stand in front of the 'Bomber Room' doors for too long, in case someone else got the great idea that it's hot, and what a better place to hang out than your liquor stores walk-in beer room?  That, and it's quite small; I didn't want to feel claustrophobic and had a purpose for being there, the temperature change was just an added benefit.

The above four beauties were picked at random; I'm not sure I've had any of these - I probably have had the Duvel before, and I am pretty sure I've tried the Scaldis (this one is the amber, so it differs from the Scaldis I mentioned prior).

As I was wheeling my bombers out of the bomber room, to the front cash register, one of the Lukas Liquor guys stopped and thanked me for coming in, and then looked at my cart with big wide eyes and said, "you really know what to drink!"  I'm glad he approved, I'll let you know how these turn out shortly...

Apothic Red 2010, drinking wine for a reason

Let me start by saying, often times I don't need to drink.  I really like the taste of beer, wine, vodka, scotch, etc.  Not too often do I find myself 'needing a drink' due to a stressful situation, a long, tiresome, angst-ridden workday, or some needless predicament I've found myself in.  Today is the needless predicament, which prompted me to open the 2010 Apothic Red.  It's a California red blend of Zinfandel, Syrah, Cabernet Sauvignon and Merlot.  It's very tasty and went very well with the steak I just grilled.

I would like to possibly rename the wine 'Apathetic' for the reason I am drinking a glass this evening, which is due to my cat:

I imagine the look on his face is him saying, 'what? WHAT? What do you want from me?!'

I was on the phone this evening explaining to a friend of mine how my cat, Oscar, tends to bring in little 'trophies' from the outdoors if I do not close the balcony door.  He apparently found a nest of bunny tonight and I noticed was dining on his third victim when I let him in.  I explained to my phone friend that the bunny's tend to cry (it's a horrible, horrible sound) but this alerts me to make sure balcony door closed prior to Oscar dropping his catch of the moment.  If I do not close the balcony door, then it's a matter of who gets to chase after the bunny/mouse/etc.  I would rather Oscar do the chasing, but he practically loses interest if I'm involved.  I'm sure there is some cat logic there as in 'hey, I brought you the goodie, you now get to play with it, this is a great honor'. I even said to my friend "mice are the worst.  At least with bunnies you can find them and they run/hop but they are still possible to catch."  I realize now I had doomed myself by speaking those words.

The first thing I noticed after letting my cat instead is that he headed directly to the kitchen, and flatten the entire front part of his body down to squeeze himself under a low kitchen shelf.  He couldn't get himself back much farther...and then I knew.  There was something behind that shelf.

After removing some bags from the left side of my wine cooler, I noticed mouse droppings and then saw a tail.  I started to panic and had to give my friend the 'I am going to let you go, there is a situation'.  Then I saw the tail.

I called my roommate, hauled the vacuum upstairs, told my roommate to move the wine cooler and with the hose extension I would suck that little bastard up.  But that little bastard mouse kept moving, away from the sound of the vacuum, eventually ran into my dining room, across my roommate's foot, and then flung his little brown body to the front entryway and then either into the powder room or to the adjacent main floor closet.  Which way did he go?  Did my cat help?  No..he was laying on the steps looking at both my roommate and I as if to say, 'really, do you think you know anything about how to catch a mouse?'.

Thus I will now refer to this wine as apathetic.  As in, my cat better suck up his apathetic little attitude and do some mouse hunting quickly.  He has no problem killing for sport, but this is a serious need.  I want to see some mouse carnage, until that moment I will continue drinking this red.  It's a nerve-calmer.

Maredsous Triple

I have uncorked the 10% alcohol Maredsous Triple.  Having returned from a four-day weekend visiting my family, I thought what a better way to cap off the weekend than to drink this foamy beer.

At 10% alcohol this should be an entertaining ride.  As you will note the color, it's a bit amber:

Just so you are aware Triple (or Tripel as our brethren in the "Land of Ideas" calls it) refers to a strong pale ale.  Apparently the 2" foam dissipates slowly, according to other beer aficionados.  The first sips seemed to be a bit tart (being very hoppy) and maybe it's the alcohol talking but this beer is starting to go down rather smoothly.  There are some other flavors in there, I cannot say, I'm more focused getting my drink on.

This blog gets updated almost as frequently as my runkeeper.com profile, where I track how many miles I have been riding my road bike.  I'm training for the Triple Bypass, a 120 mile ride, where you gain over 10,000 feet in elevation, in one day.  The reason it's called the Triple Bypass is due to the three mountain passes one must climb over to reach the very delicious BBQ at the end, or so I'm told.  I imagine anything will taste good after being on a bike for about 10 hours.  They should serve this triple for the triple.  Why isn't Maredsous sponsoring this bike ride?!

As to the origin of the name 'Tripel'/'Triple', that should be an interesting story, say a brewer, in order to claim his beer as a 'triple' must climb three peaks in the Alps nobody else dared, in say, a day, and they must also yodel, wear lederhousen and drag that huge horn with them, as well as all the equipment to ferment beer. 

All I can find so far as to the 'triple' designation is that there is a second fermentation, but what about the third?  According to Google translate, 'Tripel' does mean 'triples'.  Triple beers?  Triple headaches?  The Holy Trinity of inebriation?  It is stated that triples have at least twice the amount of alcohol as regular beers, so why wouldn't they be called Doppel...but then there is a doppelbock, which refers to a strong lager, of German origin, which is not a Tripel.  Again, I have been lost in my own wonderment as to why something is something and Google, Wikipedia, and beeradvocate.com are not giving me the answer.

It is very possible that I will not be riding my bike in the morning to train for the Triple Bypass, thanks Maredsous Triple!

CHOUFFE...HOUBLON...DOBBELEN...IPA...TRIPEL!!!

It was between this IPA and another Maredsous...the only reason I picked the Chouffe to drink this evening was because the Chouffe has 9% alcohol content as opposed to the Maredsous 10% alcohol content. That, and I've had the Chouffe before and am rather fond of it.  This is a pretty mild 'hoppy' IPA.  It is a tad on the bitter side but not too much.  Why am I fond of it, you ask?  Oh, I will tell you why...

First of all there is this little gremlin on the front of the bottle.  Said gremlin kind of looks like he is smoking a hookah, but then it looks like he is pulling or 'reaping' grain (although I do not see a sickle).  And then, I just read the back of the label, which made me laugh out loud: "On its journey across the globe the little Chouffe wandered through beautiful hop-fields."  OH, OK.. I am completely amused (and to answer my question, it's hops, rather than a hookah).  The label continues, "The overwhelming aroma of these little hop flowers such as Tomahawk, Amarillo and Saaz mesmerized him."  Really?  Maybe it was the poppy flowers mixed in as well.  Maybe it's because he is a little gremlin, and they don't exist.  Maybe someone in their extremely inebriated state made this whole story up, and thought it was cute.  Yet, I am reading the back of the label, touche, hoppy beer makers, touché.

The label further explains that this crafty little Chouffe created this beer with a "dizzying array of hops".  My that little troll was busy.  It really puts an innocent spin on drinking alcohol.  Is this how it's marketed to children?  Does their grandma entice the kids with a "drink this with your dinner, it's good for you, and look at the cute little gnome on the front"?

My grandma enticed me with drinking a shot of whiskey on Christmas Eve once.  Well, I was 10 years old and it really wasn't that hard.  This was my Great Grandma Giordano, who spoke broken English (she immigrated from Sicily when she was 18 years old), and somehow she was taking care of pouring the whiskey shots pre-Christmas feast.  I walked into the kitchen and she put a shot in front of my face and said something to the effect of, "you want dis?"  If you put alcohol in front of my face, you need not ask twice if I want it or not, even at 10 years old, I took the shot and knew what to do - I stealthily walked back into the living room (or so I thought), found a big wrapped present to hide behind and proceeded to take this situation with all the seriousness that the adults do.  This is adult power I have in my hands and I am going to drink it.  Somehow, I have no idea, my mom immediately discovered what I was doing, marched into the living room where I was hiding, and grabbed the shot glass right out of my hands.  I was so disappointed in her, she was going against my Great Grandmother's wishes of getting me a little buzz before dinner, what was the harm in that?  C'mon, it's Christmas!

So much for my attempt at underage drinking, but it didn't stop my from doing it many, many times until I turned 21.  So put the cute little Chouffe's on the bottles, encourage the youth, drink up!

I just googled what a Chouffe is - it's a dwarf!  Oh, a dwarf, that's right.  It's not a gremlin, a gnome or a troll.  It's a dwarf.  A dwarf, according to all the pictures of it, that is hard at work, picking hoppy flowers, and making beer.  Good dwarf, you harvest those flowers and ferment that beer for us, and we will let you hang out with Snow White and provide beer to our children.  I take it that the dwarves would be named something like Drunky, Surly and Pretentious Douchebag?

To wrap this up, I'd say #1) visit the Chouffe website (look, it's a little dwarf running across the page) http://www.achouffe.be/en #2) drink this beer at some point, it's good, a combination of a Belgian Tripel (I knew that was how it was spelled..) and an IPA, and #3) keep in mind, your children will be drinking with you at some point; nothing says 'drink me' like Stinky Dwarf on the front of a bottle you won't let your kids touch.

Maredsous Abbaye Blonde

(written Friday, May 4, 2012)
On this very somber evening (the passing of Adam Yauch, a.k.a. MCA, of the Beastie Boys), I will try the Maredsous Blonde.  It's a big beer, look at this thing:

It has 6% alcohol by volume, generally the Belgium beers are at around 8-9%?  So this is good, if I drink the whole thing then I will be just as drunk as if I were to drink a smaller Belgium that was higher in alcohol content.  One thing to note before I start drinking, I have not eaten.  It's 9:40pm.

I opened the bottle...

Placed the cork in my 'cork bowl'...

And poured a glass

You know, there is a tad bit of bitterness, but not overly so.  It's pretty light and lager-y.  I like Belgium Blondes so this beer seems pretty typical.  Now for my research, since I'm looking at this label and there is a variety of questions.

I just googled Maredsous, found a very legitimate and strong Benedictine Monestery, and Maredsous also produces the number one cheese brand in Belgium.  I like beer..and cheese...

Along with searching for more information on Maredsous, I'm looking up photos of Beasties Boys in Adidas tracksuits.  My sister told me she would be mourning MCA by listening to Paul's Boutique and wearing tracksuits for a week.

(...to be continued..)