It's Been Waaayyyy Too Long

I took a bit of a sabbatical with writing in this blog, mainly because I was off the drink for a bit.  The reason for being off the drink involved getting bit by a vole; I will save that story for another time.

But now I'm baaaccckkk!!!

I just cracked open the delightful Great Divide Titan IPA because I needed a drink tonight.  It's Wednesday, I've got some stuff marinating that I'm going to throw on the grill (even though it's a dreary, rainy eve) and it's hump day, or some lame excuse like that.  I have had some beers in my fridge that have been just sitting there, not doing anything, and what the hell, time to open some bottles.

(taking another drink, need some literary fuel for this blog, have not drink much of this beer yet..)

The Great Divide Titan is an IPA, thus pretty hoppy, but I like hoppy beers.  I like the slight bitterness and if I could delve into the beer critiquey-ness side, I would even say this beer is full-bodied.  Full-bodied and badass, the brewery lives on the North side of downtown Denver and holds it's cred pretty well.  It's a good place to hang, get drunk, and want to return again soon.  I have fond memories of drinking here and when I see their beer sold at a liquor store, I will buy some.

I don't know, do I detect some fruityness?  Maybe, maybe...My nose is pretty 'on' tonight, I also stuck it in a pound of ground beef to make sure it hadn't gone bad but all I smelled was meat!  That's what I'm grilling - burgers and chicken thighs, and drinking Titan IPA while doing so.  Most likely I will have more than one beer, pass out at my usual bedtime, wake up somewhat early (since drinking never gives me the full REM experience) and happily find that I have food to bring to work tomorrow.

I'm always curious as to why a beer is named what it was - why Titan?  Not much is implied on the bottle besides noting that the beer is a "big, aggressively hopped India Pale Ale brewed for hop disciples".  But 'Titan'...hmm... I don't want to bore you with my summary of Titans in Greek Mythology, but I'm hoping to read something about how Titans were kind of boozy, yet appreciated the taste of a good hoppy beer.  So far I'm coming up empty.

Oh yes - WAIT A SECOND, I've got a hook - "Hesiod does not have the last word on the Titans. Surviving fragments of poetry ascribed to Orpheus preserve some variations on the myth. In such text, Zeus does not simply set upon his father violently. Instead, Rhea spreads out a banquet for Cronus so that he becomes drunk upon fermented honey. Rather than being consigned to Tartarus, Cronus is dragged—still drunk—to the cave of Nyx (Night), where he continues to dream throughout eternity."  Well, I guess there you have it.  This beer is meant to be drank and have you fall into eternal dreams.  Alright then, I'll take it. (sourced from Wikipedia, where else)

Suggested food pairings - grilled halibut, thai curry, strong/soft cow's milk cheeses.  And I'm about ready to settle into a burger...I think I'll be OK, time for a burger tasting, and another beer!

"Write something worth reading or do something worth writing"

...hopefully both will be achieved with this post.

I've just cracked open the delightful Pauwel Kwak and am so glad I did.  It rules my world.  I'm drinking on an empty stomach, too.  This should be entertaining.

Let me set the scene for you: It's a dreary mid-50's Wednesday.  My plan, post-work, was to go to yoga, clean, and make some dinner.  I blew off yoga, started vacuuming my stairs and decided my best option for tonight is to drink.  I feel I made the best decision.

Onto tonight's beer of choice, the Pauwel Kwak.  I just looked over at my glass and saw a gnat swimming in it.  And you know what...?  I don't give a shit, because I am sure I paid at least $10 for this beer, and as we all know alcohol kills everything (I did remove the gnat before my next sip, maybe the gnat is a sign that I should have continued cleaning).

As usual, I had to Google what the hell Pauwel Kwak is...maybe I need to remind you that I truly know nothing about beer.  I really don't and I won't pretend I do.  I know what types of beer I like, but this blog is really more to help me remember what I've drank, and what beer I wasn't into.

Back to procrastinating from the real beer connoisseurs - things I have learned today: #1) Pauwel Kwak is a strong Belgian Pale Ale #2) oh, OK, apparently there is some magical glass that you must drink from, it kind of looks like the half-yards...a bit fancier.  Apparently the magician, Pauwel Kwak, created a glass ensemble to enable the mail coaches' drivers to drink since they weren't able to leave their mail coaches unattended when they stopped at his fine roadside establishment.  How convenient!  This is service:  pull up to a bar, sit in your horse wagon/team/whatever it's called, the bartender brings the beer out to you, and then you drive off with it - drinking and driving in the early 1800's.  I'm starting to love this beer more and more.  #3) at 8.5% alcohol, it will get you drunk (unless you are Andre the Giant, an entirely different topic)

I'm fairly sure the drive-through drink service exists in many parts of the world, just not legally in the U.S.  But, of course, I had to check on this, and, of course there is such a thing as drive-up drinks in Louisiana; I shall now interpret the law for you - Lousiana Law RS 32:300

Possession of alcoholic beverages in motor vehicles

A.  It shall be unlawful for the operator of a motor vehicle or the passenger in or on a motor vehicle, while the motor vehicle is operated on a public highway or right-of-way, to possess an open alcoholic beverage container, or to consume an alcoholic beverage, in the passenger area of a motor vehicle. (OK, this looks about the same as the other states, so far, so good...)

B.  For purposes of this Section, the following words have the following meanings ascribed to them:

(1)  "Alcoholic beverage" means any of the following:

(a)  Beer, ale, porter, stout, and other similar fermented beverages, including sake (brewed like a beer, drank like a wine; my next blog installment 'Sake, the Sobering Buzz' is coming soon) or similar products, of any name or description containing one-half of one percent or more of alcohol by volume, brewed or produced from malt, wholly or in part, or from any substitute therefor. (isn't the word 'therefore'?)

(b)  Wine of not less than one-half of one percent of alcohol by volume.

(c)  Distilled spirits which is that substance known as ethyl alcohol, ethanol, or spirits of wine in any form, including all dilutions and mixtures thereof from whatever source or by whatever process produced. (a.k.a. moonshine, white lightning, mountain dew, hooch, "Tennessee white whiskey" - is there a Tennessee black whiskey?)

(2)  "Motor vehicle" means a vehicle driven or drawn by mechanical power and manufactured primarily for use on public highways, but does not include a vehicle operated exclusively on a rail or rails. (OK, this is important, drinking on horses is not included)

(3)(a)  "Open alcoholic beverage container" means any bottle, can, or other receptacle that contains any amount of alcoholic beverage and to which any of the following is applicable:

(i)  It is open or has a broken seal.

(ii)  Its contents have been partially removed.

(b)  "Open alcoholic beverage container" shall not mean any bottle, can, or other receptacle that contains a frozen alcoholic beverage unless the lid is removed, a straw protrudes therefrom, or the contents of the receptacle have been partially removed. (See, this is where the drive-through drink fantasy seems like more of a myth.  Apparently, as long as the straw is not in the dacquiri, you can basically sip from the lid, but it does state that it would constitute 'open container' if the contents of the receptacle have been partially removed.  And really, who is able to drink much of a frozen dacquiri without getting an ice cream headache?  Not to mention, any frozen drink is the worst way to get a buzz, good luck with that..)

(4)  "Passenger area" means the area designed to seat the driver and passengers while the motor vehicle is in operation and any area that is readily accessible to the driver or a passenger while in their seating positions, including the glove compartment. (WHAT?!) It shall not mean a locked glove compartment (I'm still trying to visualize someone in a glove compartment, let alone a LOCKED glove compartment) or behind the last upright seat, or any area not normally occupied by the driver or a passenger in a motor vehicle that is not equipped with a trunk. (wow, you hillbillies are really OK with anything aren't you)

(5)  "Public highway or right-of-way" means the entire width between and immediately adjacent to the boundary lines of publicly maintained highways or roads when any part thereof is open to the use of the public.

C.  Notwithstanding R.S. 32:391 and 411, whoever violates the provisions of this Section shall not be taken into custody by the arresting officer, but instead shall be required either to deposit his driver's license with the arresting officer or give his written promise to appear.(No comment on literacy, oh wait, I just mentioned it..) Furthermore, a violation of the provisions of this Section shall not be included in the records kept by the commissioner required in R.S. 32:393.1.

D.  (1) Whoever violates the provisions of this Section shall be fined not more than one hundred dollars. (What?! You get an open container violation and that is what you pay??) Court costs shall be assessed in addition to the fine authorized by this Subsection.

(2)  For purposes of enforcement, the observance of a glass, cup, or other container that, on its face, does not indicate that the container contains an alcoholic beverage, shall not, absent other circumstances, constitute probable cause for a law enforcement officer to stop and question a person. (I bet everyone in Louisiana drives with alcohol in their car, especially since the state has a provision that basically states, 'how dare you have the audacity to assume that I am driving with alcohol in this vehicle!').

The below basically states that if you are a passenger, drink up: 

F.  The provisions of this Section shall not apply to the following persons or in the following areas:

(1)  Any person operating or occupying a motor vehicle who, as a condition of his employment and while acting in the course and scope of such employment, is required to carry open alcoholic beverage containers, provided that the operator or passenger does not consume the alcoholic beverages.

(2)  Any paid fare passenger on a common or contract carrier vehicle, as defined in R.S. 45:162.

(3)  Any paid fare passenger on a public carrier vehicle, as defined in R.S. 45:200.2.

(4)  Any passenger in a courtesy vehicle which is operated as a courtesy vehicle.

(5)  Any passenger of a self-contained motor home which is in excess of twenty-one feet in length.

(6)  Possession of an open container of alcoholic beverage in the trunk of a motor vehicle.

(7)  If the motor vehicle is not equipped with a trunk, possession of an open container or alcoholic beverages in any of the following areas:

(a)  In a locked glove or utility compartment.

(b)  In an area of the vehicle not normally occupied by, and not readily accessible, to the driver or passengers.

(8)  Passengers and krewe members riding on a parade float. (I just discovered what 'krewe' means.  Look it up yourself.)

(9)  Any passenger in a privately owned limousine the driver of which possesses a Class D commercial driver's license.

Damn it, Louisiana kind of rules.  Just don't ever drink a dacquiri from a half-yard glass, it will NOT get you drunk and is just a bad idea, believe me, I've tried it.

Do I look drunk?

Tripel Karmeliet

8,4% Alcohol by volume
Authentic Belgian Ale
Product of Belgium (wasn't that already assumed in the line above?)
1 Pt 9.4 Fl. oz.

It's a blond, it's smooth and fruity (whatever), it's a true 3 grain ale, whatever, I bought it for the bottle:

Look at the Black Box shuddering in the background; it is definitely NOT worthy (see previous post about my disdain for Black Box wine).

Very cool label on the front of this bottle, dare I say it, are those monks harvesting sheafs of wheat?!  I believe it is...nothing like keeping a stereotype alive and kicking.  At least they aren't little made-up dwarves, although don't get me wrong, I love that little Munchkin beer (see Houblon Chouffee).

There is something terribly wrong here.

I CAN pour beer, it's the beer, NOT me.  There is extra carbonation or something added.  I promise you, I tip the glass as much as possible and this is what I get.  OK, maybe I am a little careless, I shouldn't blame the beer, it's actually pretty decent.

I really like this beer, it's a tiny bit bitter.  For some reason I expected a bit of a kick when I took my first sip, like an aftertaste but no, none there.  It seemed as if the smell was almost too light which is why I expected the aftertaste, but yeah, this is definitely drinkable.  I could get loaded on this very easily.

I just poured my second glass...apparently I was too anxious on the first pour, which is why the beer head is ridiculous huge.  Even the second pour, though, is yielding some pretty serious foam.

OK, I just looked at beeradvocate.com and someone even mentioned the pour:
"Pours a murky golden color with a positively indominable, rocky, white head. Seriously, a mild pour yielded two inches of glorious foam that continues to expand as I write. My Duvel glass has never looked so content..."
Where the hell did this person get a Duvel glass?  All I had was a pint glass, I feel so inferior, yet comforted by the fact that drinking this Tripel out of a special glass doesn't necessarily mean a better pour.

Have you ever really read the posts on beeradvocate?  Seriously, I want to start a special website just for the posts that get thrown up there:

Moderate aromas of light fruit (pear), Belgian yeast, banana, clove, lemon zest, and some floral notes.BANANA?  Where does this come from?  I taste no banana today.  I taste no lemon or clove for that matter, am I missing something here?  I just taste beer.

Very similar to the smell, the taste of this beer starts out with the flavors of light fruits (pear and apple), Belgian yeast with some spiciness, banana, and clove.OK, really?  Where do you get banana?  Did this person just eat a banana, are they craving banana, why does banana have to be involved, I am very confused.

Light bodied with moderate to heavy amounts of carbonation. Crisp and pretty dry, especially in the finish.Well, here is where we agree, it's fucking carbonated, end of story.

I do not understand how these involved beer reviews happen.  Are people so concerned with the minor nuances and 'notes' instead of just drinking their beer?  I imagine those that made this beer are glad you enjoy it, but if you have to pick it apart, are you REALLY enjoying it?  Or are you just that way, focusing on every little aspect that your taste buds can control like a machine, I feel really...sorry...for...you....

I'm getting my buzz on with this beer, not too much of a buzz, but just enough.  I could drink this beer all day long.  I may even go on a bender and see how expressive my descriptions are then!  Yeah, wouldn't THAT be entertaining.

Cheers.

Quanity over Quality, or WTF was I thinking...

I really had every intention to buy wine at the liquor store last night, but for some reason I thought I would hit the wine in the box section instead.  What in the hell was I thinking.

I feel I should start a "Do Not Drink This" list.  Wine in a box, nice idea, the fact that oxygen does not allow the wine to go bad as quickly is a good thing...but seriously?  Just buy the bottle and make it a personal goal to consume it in a day or two.  Tell people that want to make plans with you, "sorry but I have a Cab I have to finish at home", if they are real friends, they'll understand. 

Granted, when a bottle of wine is open, generally it's shared between two or so people, not at my place.  My roommate doesn't drink and I don't feel like sharing.

So back to the box of crap I am drinking.  I took a drink and slightly gagged, it's pretty awful.  I checked the date to see if it had gone bad, the packaging states that it is good 12-15 months after the date which is November 2011.  Bottom line, this wine sucks.

Do I take it back to the store?  I feel like I should return it because it really tastes like it has GONE bad, yet then I wonder maybe this is just how the wine tastes?

Here are other things NOT to drink EVER:

- Blue Maui, I don't know if they sell this but I've had some bad pre-legal drinking age experiences with it, it reminds me of coolant, tastes alot like coolant, is probably lethal and I'm sure the FDA pulled it off the shelves years ago...

- All wine coolers, don't even pretend you like these, they are disgusting.  Granted, during the 'wine cooler lush fest' was again during the pre-legal drinking age timeframe and our point in drinking these was to get drunk, instead of sipping on wine coolers at a garden party so I'm sure there is some market for this bottled vermin out there somewhere

- White Zinfandel, God help me, I went on a bender with my friend Jamee in Chicago in the mid-90's drinking white trashfandel for about 12 hrs...and suffered the worst hangover of my life the next day.  There are some drinks that should not be drank in excess, this would be on the list...as well as just tasting really bad.

- Jaeger.  I know alot of people like their Jaeger, I do not.  It tastes like candy-licorice crap.  Seriously, why are you drinking cough syrup?  Didn't you get enough of this when you were younger?  And the anise taste, if you ever want to make me suffer, insist I take shot after shot of Jaeger followed by smoking at least three cigarettes, that would be hell for me.

- Heineken, this just tastes like swill

I feel there are more drinks that I abhor, yet here I sit drinking this crappy box of wine, because it's here.  Chances are I will drink any of the above if it was infront of me, except for the Blue Maui, that's my dealbreaker.

From my heart to yours - Beers to be drank, pondered, written about

I stopped by one of my favorite liquor stores on Friday night, Lukas Liquors http://www.lukasliquorsuperstore.com/, in Lone Tree, Colorado (thank you, JP & Naomi for recommending such a fabulous place), to stock up on some new beers to try:

Lukas Liquors is called 'The Superstore' because it is very super.  And special.  I am quite fond of the bomber room.  I wanted to take a picture of it, but did not want to stand in front of the 'Bomber Room' doors for too long, in case someone else got the great idea that it's hot, and what a better place to hang out than your liquor stores walk-in beer room?  That, and it's quite small; I didn't want to feel claustrophobic and had a purpose for being there, the temperature change was just an added benefit.

The above four beauties were picked at random; I'm not sure I've had any of these - I probably have had the Duvel before, and I am pretty sure I've tried the Scaldis (this one is the amber, so it differs from the Scaldis I mentioned prior).

As I was wheeling my bombers out of the bomber room, to the front cash register, one of the Lukas Liquor guys stopped and thanked me for coming in, and then looked at my cart with big wide eyes and said, "you really know what to drink!"  I'm glad he approved, I'll let you know how these turn out shortly...

Apothic Red 2010, drinking wine for a reason

Let me start by saying, often times I don't need to drink.  I really like the taste of beer, wine, vodka, scotch, etc.  Not too often do I find myself 'needing a drink' due to a stressful situation, a long, tiresome, angst-ridden workday, or some needless predicament I've found myself in.  Today is the needless predicament, which prompted me to open the 2010 Apothic Red.  It's a California red blend of Zinfandel, Syrah, Cabernet Sauvignon and Merlot.  It's very tasty and went very well with the steak I just grilled.

I would like to possibly rename the wine 'Apathetic' for the reason I am drinking a glass this evening, which is due to my cat:

I imagine the look on his face is him saying, 'what? WHAT? What do you want from me?!'

I was on the phone this evening explaining to a friend of mine how my cat, Oscar, tends to bring in little 'trophies' from the outdoors if I do not close the balcony door.  He apparently found a nest of bunny tonight and I noticed was dining on his third victim when I let him in.  I explained to my phone friend that the bunny's tend to cry (it's a horrible, horrible sound) but this alerts me to make sure balcony door closed prior to Oscar dropping his catch of the moment.  If I do not close the balcony door, then it's a matter of who gets to chase after the bunny/mouse/etc.  I would rather Oscar do the chasing, but he practically loses interest if I'm involved.  I'm sure there is some cat logic there as in 'hey, I brought you the goodie, you now get to play with it, this is a great honor'. I even said to my friend "mice are the worst.  At least with bunnies you can find them and they run/hop but they are still possible to catch."  I realize now I had doomed myself by speaking those words.

The first thing I noticed after letting my cat instead is that he headed directly to the kitchen, and flatten the entire front part of his body down to squeeze himself under a low kitchen shelf.  He couldn't get himself back much farther...and then I knew.  There was something behind that shelf.

After removing some bags from the left side of my wine cooler, I noticed mouse droppings and then saw a tail.  I started to panic and had to give my friend the 'I am going to let you go, there is a situation'.  Then I saw the tail.

I called my roommate, hauled the vacuum upstairs, told my roommate to move the wine cooler and with the hose extension I would suck that little bastard up.  But that little bastard mouse kept moving, away from the sound of the vacuum, eventually ran into my dining room, across my roommate's foot, and then flung his little brown body to the front entryway and then either into the powder room or to the adjacent main floor closet.  Which way did he go?  Did my cat help?  No..he was laying on the steps looking at both my roommate and I as if to say, 'really, do you think you know anything about how to catch a mouse?'.

Thus I will now refer to this wine as apathetic.  As in, my cat better suck up his apathetic little attitude and do some mouse hunting quickly.  He has no problem killing for sport, but this is a serious need.  I want to see some mouse carnage, until that moment I will continue drinking this red.  It's a nerve-calmer.

Maredsous Triple

I have uncorked the 10% alcohol Maredsous Triple.  Having returned from a four-day weekend visiting my family, I thought what a better way to cap off the weekend than to drink this foamy beer.

At 10% alcohol this should be an entertaining ride.  As you will note the color, it's a bit amber:

Just so you are aware Triple (or Tripel as our brethren in the "Land of Ideas" calls it) refers to a strong pale ale.  Apparently the 2" foam dissipates slowly, according to other beer aficionados.  The first sips seemed to be a bit tart (being very hoppy) and maybe it's the alcohol talking but this beer is starting to go down rather smoothly.  There are some other flavors in there, I cannot say, I'm more focused getting my drink on.

This blog gets updated almost as frequently as my runkeeper.com profile, where I track how many miles I have been riding my road bike.  I'm training for the Triple Bypass, a 120 mile ride, where you gain over 10,000 feet in elevation, in one day.  The reason it's called the Triple Bypass is due to the three mountain passes one must climb over to reach the very delicious BBQ at the end, or so I'm told.  I imagine anything will taste good after being on a bike for about 10 hours.  They should serve this triple for the triple.  Why isn't Maredsous sponsoring this bike ride?!

As to the origin of the name 'Tripel'/'Triple', that should be an interesting story, say a brewer, in order to claim his beer as a 'triple' must climb three peaks in the Alps nobody else dared, in say, a day, and they must also yodel, wear lederhousen and drag that huge horn with them, as well as all the equipment to ferment beer. 

All I can find so far as to the 'triple' designation is that there is a second fermentation, but what about the third?  According to Google translate, 'Tripel' does mean 'triples'.  Triple beers?  Triple headaches?  The Holy Trinity of inebriation?  It is stated that triples have at least twice the amount of alcohol as regular beers, so why wouldn't they be called Doppel...but then there is a doppelbock, which refers to a strong lager, of German origin, which is not a Tripel.  Again, I have been lost in my own wonderment as to why something is something and Google, Wikipedia, and beeradvocate.com are not giving me the answer.

It is very possible that I will not be riding my bike in the morning to train for the Triple Bypass, thanks Maredsous Triple!